We spend a good deal of time in our lives watching and waiting for the opportunity to do or say something. In our intimate, relational worlds this is especially true. We want to say something of importance to our partner. Is it a good time? Is the other person in the right frame of mind? [...]

Wanting change and initiating change are two related but separate experiences. Wanting is an internal experience, initiating is external. So often in relationships we want it to feel and be different, not realizing that while altering intentions and attitudes can help, you still need to do something differently. Behavior has a sticky habit of remaining [...]

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” the saying goes. We all know what that really means: If you don’t ever follow through, then talk is cheap. There’s a point to be made, yet the idea of having good intentions often gets a bad rap. Our intentions do matter. I advise people to [...]

Recently I posted a piece titled “Appreciation.” I almost didn’t write it because I thought it might be trite—so obvious that readers would be bored. Well, I’m glad I did write it because it brought more enthusiastic response than any other piece posted this past year. “Appreciation” focused on something simple and fundamental—direct expression of [...]

I listened to part of Weekend Edition this past Sunday on NPR and heard the letters-to-the-editor segment. Some of the letters referenced a story last weekend about PTSD in military personnel. The letters criticized someone interviewed who used the term, “former veterans.” On one hand, the term “former veterans” can be somewhat amusing, a slip [...]

What child hasn’t been scolded for calling someone names? They are admonished: That’s not nice. . . . We don’t call others names. . . . Tell him you’re sorry for calling him names. We use these and other familiar phrases to try to teach our children how to behave properly and respectfully in a [...]

I could be glib and say, “at the beginning,” but that’s the point. Where is the beginning of any story? I spend a lot of time listening to stories that begin with, “Here’s what happened . . .” When two (or more) people are involved, there are usually related but different accounts. Of course, most [...]