“I’m not sure how to describe it, but something shifted.” That statement is the most consistent description used by people in counseling to describe a positive change. Something shifted signifies movement, not resolution—as in fixing or settling an issue. When something shifts internally, perspective changes and whatever shifted is no longer stuck. When we are [...]

For real communication to take place in an intimate friendship or love relationship, there must be trust. Trust is one of those states that we experience—we must be able to trust and the other must demonstrate trustworthiness. So what does it mean “to be able to trust” and to “demonstrate trustworthiness”? To be able to [...]

I could be glib and say, “at the beginning,” but that’s the point. Where is the beginning of any story? I spend a lot of time listening to stories that begin with, “Here’s what happened . . .” When two (or more) people are involved, there are usually related but different accounts. Of course, most [...]

Although this may seem overstated, misunderstanding is the norm. I don’t mean that pessimistically. The process of giving and receiving information is complex. We use words as a primary vehicle for communicating ideas, information, and personal experience. Those words are like brush strokes on a canvas, gradually illuminating a picture that has literal elements as [...]