Thinking Out Loud » creativity

Reach For It

Bob — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 17:51:59 +0000

As often happens when teaching the Communication Styles Framework, someone will spontaneously say, “Oh, I just realized something I’d never thought of before.” This happened recently during a workshop with a management group.

The discussion centered on how differently we organize our workspaces, which was actually a side discussion that began when one member expressed frustration from having a messy desk. A coworker remarked that she has a messy desk, too, but “I know where everything is and can easily put my hands on whatever I’m looking for.” Someone else chimed in that she can usually picture right where she puts things.

I commented that my visual memory is poor, so I have shelves or a counter to spread out on, eliminating piles. If something is in a pile, I won’t remember it’s there. With shelves or a counter, I need to scan each item to remember I have it.

The most interesting comment, however, came from Lucien (not his real name, of course). “I remember where I put something by feeling where I put it.” As he said this he mimed with his arms moving in different directions, placing papers in different locations in space. “It’s kind of a muscle memory,” he continued. “I can’t see where I put it, but I know where it is because I remember the actual movement of putting it there.” There was a quiet pause as we all absorbed this new information.

In my usual articulate manner when something like this occurs, I said, “Wow, that’s so cool” . . . Seriously, I probably did say something like that because I’d never heard that from anyone and I hear many unusual comments in similar group meetings around the framework. Paying attention to these seemingly quirky observations is important. They are clues to our processing modalities and, therefore, our communication styles.

Lucien is strongly kinesthetic and a doer. He learns by gaining knowledge through direct experience and can seem impulsive, thoughtless, or foolish. Now that his coworkers better understand his processing style, they are less likely to judge him and more likely to find constructive ways to interact with him when he does dive right into something.

Our discussion that day led directly into recounting a past experience (with good humor) when Lucien did something that seemed impulsive and ended up being embarrassing but was really part of his need to gain knowledge from direct experience. As the group revisited the incident and put it in a different (more accurate) context, they automatically began talking about how they all could have handled it differently. Recognizing Lucien’s need for direct experience also led to discussing how creative he is and how well he thinks on his feet. His taking direct action and adapting as needed afterward certainly suits him well—and usually benefits the whole management team.

By identifying Lucien’s strengths and how those strengths can also get him into trouble, this team engaged in a discussion that brought them greater understanding about themselves and each other. Without making judgments, they put past observations in a new context, which allows them to better support one another, problem-solve more creatively, and collaborate more productively.

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Seeing and Feeling the Dance

Bob — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 01:52:31 +0000

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Derek had a ten-year dance career, and now at age thirty-two it was time for him make a change. Clearly he was in transition and wanted to find a way to include dance in his life in some form. So we explored his interests, ideas and strengths.

When we talked about choreography, I asked him how he creates a dance. I was curious partly because I can’t image doing something like this, considering my difficulty with visual memory and sequence. As Derek described the process, he became a little dreamy-eyed and began moving his head rhythmically from side to side.

First, Derek gets an image of the dance in his mind’s eye, but not a vivid image of specific movements—an image that communicates the mood and tempo of the dance. It’s a little dreamy but forms the foundation of his creative process. With the basic idea in place, he then begins to feel the movements unfold in his body but moves very little. It’s more of a step here or there, some shifting of weight and arm movements. “Nothing that looks like much to an outsider,” Derek explained.

Next he needs to be in the studio with a mirrored wall, so he can actually move and watch himself. This is a tedious process because he experiments a lot, changing and refining specific positions and movements “until it feels and looks right.”

When he completes a sequence he likes, Derek makes notes and sketches notes for future recall. Often he doesn’t need the notes, but it’s what he’s always done and it’s just part of his process. His basic memory kicks in as soon as he begins moving is body. The ability to process kinesthetically is second nature for Derek. As we talked, he also realized how important it is for him to get up and move around when he’s trying to “think something through.” He joked about how he “moves something through.”

For those who are strongly kinesthetic, I often advise them to experiment with different kinds of movement to discover how they can best use it for managing stress, thinking, communicating, and creating. And for those not so kinesthetically inclined, it’s also good to experiment with movement. Brain research shows that much of the body (yes, including the brain) needs/requires movement for efficient and healthy functioning.

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Two Stories—Two Pictures

Bob — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 00:33:54 +0000

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Ned is a very active seven year old boy—tireless and constantly in motion. His continuous imaginative play is captivating, both to himself and to anyone watching him. Within a minute of seeing a stick and a piece of crumpled up paper, for example, he has combined them with other objects to form a spaceship that he weaves in and out of many worlds.

Often, though, it is difficult to get Ned’s attention because he is so absorbed in play/thought/imagination. If you ask him a question or give him direction, he’ll respond as though he’s heard you but he doesn’t follow through…or so it seems. When his parents try to talk to Ned about listening and following through, he seems distracted and uncomfortable, and the session often accomplishes little except giving all involved a not-so-healthy level of frustration. Mary and Kevin, Ned’s parents, are concerned that his level of absorption will cause big problems for him at school and beyond.

Mary especially is tireless in her attempts to engage him and help him focus better. As she explored the communication styles framework, she recognized that Ned has a strong visual-spatial and kinesthetic world. He tends to think in pictures and focuses his attention on creating and experiencing. Therefore, using words to connect with him would likely be ineffective.

One day when Ned and Mary were at the park, they watched as two boys, some distance away, played with a ball. When the ball bounced toward them, Ned picked it up and began bouncing it in a pattern relating to the cracks in the pavement. Mary instructed him to return the ball to the boys. Ned replied, “I am.” His mother retorted, “No, you’re not. Give it back now.” The conversation went back and forth like this, and eventually Ned rolled the ball back to the boys.

Then Mary asked him to go sit in a nearby hammock and picture two scenes: the one that just occurred and another where he simply handed the ball back to the boys. Ned sat dreamily in the hammock for about five minutes and then said, “Oh, I get it. I should have given the ball back right away because they were playing a game with it.” Mary saw this as a breakthrough moment, and it was.

Typically in a follow-up discussion of this sort, Ned would defensively explain that he was giving the ball back because, in fact, he was, but it was in a manner that suited him and was not congruent with anyone else’s reality. This time it was different. As Ned tuned into his imaginative world to reflect, he observed his creative process for returning the ball (which he fully intended to do) and observed the scene from the perspective of the two boys. Once he visualized both pictures, he realized what was most important—the right thing to do in this situation. Tapping into Ned’s natural language in the visual-spatial realm gave him an opportunity to connect to a bigger picture and understand what was important to others.

As Mary and I talked about this, we explored the possibility of helping Ned use an imaginary pause button when she’s trying to get his attention. Because the compelling pictures he constantly visualizes makes it hard for him to focus on input from others, learning to press the pause button might help Ned focus on what Mary is saying. It’s an experiment worth trying. Using the communication styles lens often can help us creatively and specifically solve problems.

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Communication Styles in Counseling

Bob — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:30:31 +0000

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My early experience in counseling was primarily with children. Working with children requires flexibility and creativity, and through studying the work of Clark Moustakas and Virginia Axline, I learned that communication in play takes many forms—words, behavior, symbols, and feelings. And, of course, there is the primacy of the working relationship. This nuanced and textured experience taught me to listen with my whole body and set the stage for further exploration into the world of individual communication styles.

Through this exploration, I incorporated learning style theory and the theory of multiple intelligences into my counseling approach. Counseling is a form of learning—learning about one’s self, relationships, and life itself. My focus on learning encouraged me to pay attention to the details of how others expressed themselves and absorbed information. Learning styles and multiple intelligences gave me a way to work with these details and explore different ways of connecting to others and listening to their stories.

Related to this exploration were questions about how counselors view human behavior and what choices we make in trying to be helpful (questions, comments, interventions). So, I began questioning observations I was taught to make and the conclusions drawn from them. If someone has difficulty reflecting on their feelings, for example, does it mean they are avoiding something or does it mean they are more intrapersonally oriented and need time and space to reflect before achieving clarity? If an individual has difficult putting words to their experience, is it because of mental confusion or do they think primarily in pictures and find words inadequate to express the richness of their fluid, visual-spatial world?

This led to other questions. Were those who are successful using gestalt techniques rich in imagination and kinesthetic intelligence? How helpful is it for someone more linguistically oriented to engage in this type of therapy? Is cognitive-behavioral therapy best suited to those who are strongly logical and linguistic? Does hypnotherapy work best for those who have strong visual-spatial skills? These questions are absent from the discussion on evidence based practice. In that discussion, a one size fits all model is implied.

I don’t have solid answers for these questions based in traditional scientific methodology. I have, however, used my experience (intuition and educated trial and error) to guide me in exploring these issues with clients. Through this process I’ve learned to be more flexible in my approach and make fewer assumptions, while I explore how to better connect with and use the natural language of those I’m trying to help. This approach provides natural validation to clients, encourages collaboration, decreases pathologizing, and encourages mutual creativity.

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