My brother is a math whiz, has a strong logical mind, and once said, “I use the language of logic and math to communicate what I see in the visual-spatial realm.” Of course I was intrigued and had an intuitive sense of what he was describing but it’s so far from my personal experience that [...]

  Alisa is a team leader at a marketing firm. Her team has six members working on a project for one of their bigger accounts. Alisa is conscious of giving praise (when it’s deserved) and holding everyone to high standards. She stays connected with team members through regular staff meetings and pushes herself to make [...]

Barry has fifteen years experience in public accounting. He takes pride in his work and likes new challenges. Henry, Barry’s boss, likes to stay connected to his team. He asks questions about how things are going, frequently asks for updates, and is genuinely curious about others. He’ll pop by other’s offices or stop a team [...]

Too often, we try to solve behavior problems our kids are having without actively collaborating with the kids. We tell them what we want them to do and why, and expect compliance because what we want them to do is reasonable (to us). Sometimes this works and we get compliance, but is it really a [...]

The foundation of your communication style is directly related to your inherent abilities—the way you are wired. Yet there is more to it. Relationships influence how we use our style. Recently I had a question in the Communication Lab, bringing focus to this issue. The questioner indicated that both he and his wife have dominant [...]

Establishing a right/wrong framework in interpersonal communication is not likely to bring two people closer together. It is my belief that the goal of getting closer is overarching in personal relationships, even if we are not conscious of it in the moment of a heated discussion. When I explain this to couples in conflict, they [...]

Ellen is a project manager in a small software development firm. She is well organized and enjoys working with people. She has enough of a technical background to connect with her team and excels in her management skills. Her boss, Jeri, is an idea person, very creative and tireless. Dedicated to the company and the [...]

Sam’s wife, Beth, made a simple statement, or so she thought. “Let’s put in a walk-in shower.” Sam was immediately sour on the idea. He grimaced and said it wasn’t a good idea. This upset Beth and she responded strongly. “Why are you always so negative when I make a suggestion?” Sam quickly responded, “Because [...]