When communication breaks down, you must try to fix it; but when things go badly, it is very difficult to go back and risk the same breakdown. If you revisit the problem at hand, you must be prepared to do something different. Too often, the revisiting is done by restating what you already said, which [...]

Stating the obvious—one of those phrases I say frequently in the office—is an interpersonal communication basic. As a prevention tool, stating the obvious is very effective. Let me give a quick example to illustrate the point. In families we constantly take an emotional reading on one another. It’s so intuitive, we usually don’t even think [...]

“I accept full responsibility” is the politically correct statement when mistakes are made. We’ve heard this over and over from CEO’s, government officials, and other leaders. Like many politically correct phrases, it so often rings hollow and is followed by a list of reasons justifying a lack of responsibility for the “mistakes.” The reasons usually [...]

Do You Know What I Mean?—Discovering Your Personal Communication Style was published one year ago. I’ve enjoyed having contact with many new people as a result of publishing this book and gotten a lot of worthwhile, positive feedback—all of which is gratifying. During the past year I’ve also noticed a pattern to the questions and [...]

I just finished reading How by Dov Seidman, an inspiring book about creating values driven organizations that promote team work, mutual accountability, and individual leadership. It is possible to do this; Seidman includes lots of great examples of organizations of every size. This is particularly inspiring when put against news—and we’ve all heard it—of a [...]

Jonah runs a non-profit, community development organization. He is very enthusiastic about his job, likes the people he works with, and is motivated to bring the organization to a higher level. His management team consists of an assistant director, administrative assistant, finance person, research director, outreach director, and development director. They are a congenial group, [...]

Ellen is a project manager in a small software development firm. She is well organized and enjoys working with people. She has enough of a technical background to connect with her team and excels in her management skills. Her boss, Jeri, is an idea person, very creative and tireless. Dedicated to the company and the [...]

Many of us take pride in expressing ourselves clearly and precisely to achieve effective communication. Of course this is a worthy pursuit . . . but oh, if it were only that easy. The communication equation has two sides and if the communication is not received accurately, then it is not effective. “That’s not my [...]

In my study of learning styles, I came across the whole to part and part to whole concept. As with all learning style paradigms, this has a strong connection to communication styles, and it particularly intrigued me because I could immediately identify with it. I am a whole-to-part learner: I need to understand the overarching [...]

A recent question in the Communication Lab prompted the writing of this piece. The questioner was confused about how he “used” the interpersonal and intrapersonal components. He clearly sees himself as intrapersonally oriented, yet with his wife (also strongly intrapersonal), he is more talkative, much more interpersonally driven. Specifically, he initiates most of the let’s-sit-down-and-discuss-this [...]